Bad Decisions

Hello, sorry there's no chapter 7 yet, I'm still working on it though. This is another random post that I think will help me personally to feel better about myself

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Regrets and Depression 

We've all messed up and sinned. Sins. We all sin. Every single one of us sins, it's the truth. Even the most religious person you know has sinned. 

What is a sin? It's something we know we aren't supposed to do yet we still do it. 

Everyone messes up, everyone has that one secret they haven't told anyone, that one sin they have done that they wish they haven't. The big issue about all of this is that everyone wants to be perfect, we all want to be perfect people but no one is perfect. 

We all strive for perfection but even god knows we aren't supposed to be perfect. How do I know this? Well, Islam and god himself forgive. Islam is forgiving, the beauty of Islam and life itself is that you can open a new page and start a new chapter of your life whenever you want to. Islam is forgiving, God is forgiving. 

Don't dwell and regret, that only steals your days. We all regret and we all have that one voice in our head telling us how bad we are, how bad we messed up. We all overthink and make such a small issue a big one, all of this needs to stop. Stop hating yourself and learn to love yourself and forgive yourself. After all, life is short. Don't waste it. 

Theories about Love

Hello, this is a very random post but it describes me in a way I guess -Fatemah

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His love isn't there, it's nowhere, I want it. every bit of attention I can get? I want. 

Everytime I see him I want him to talk to me, to give me the attention i crave for. He's the person I want to be loved by but I can't have him, he's taken. 

But I still love him regardless.

 I don't mean to be clingy but it's him, his scent, his eyes and the smallest things he does which take me by surprise and make me hopeful. 

I love, just like every person does. But when I fall for someone I fall hard and they take my heart. Sometimes I imagine what it would be like if I had the love I wanted, how magical it would be. 

But then I think that love is a complete fantasy. You want it but you can't get it most of the time, I love him so much and I can't stop thinking about him.

He stole my mind, my thoughts, my heart and my soul. I want them back but I don't allow myself to retrieve myself because Everytime I see him I fall in love all over again, it's that simple.

We all crave love and want it but most of the time, love isn't fair. It's pretty sad how much you can love someone but that person won't even put in an effort to love you back. Love is a fantasy, there is no love. 

Chapter 6 (Part 2)

Hello! We haven't posted in a while. Enjoy this chapter :D -Fatemah

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It was my first day of uni and we were also going to yousef's house after uni meaning I have to change Mara wa7da for uni and auntie sheikha's. 

My dad dropped me off at university and went to his job, i study art. Lots of people tell me it's not important but I've just proven them wrong. I went to the front desk and took my timetable, I went to my first class and hoped for the best. 

After a long first day at university, I headed to yousef's house. Starbucks was near, I went inside for a bit of warmth, it was freezing cold today. I went and ordered a toffe nut latte for takeaway, I needed something to warm me up whilst I make way to yousef's house. I handed the man £2 to pay for my drink.

"Your drink has already been paid for ma'am" he said, giving me a smile. 

I put my money back and turned around to see yousef. Oh my god this guy can't be for real. Everywhere I go he appears, it's creepy.

He laughed and smiled at me 

"You need to stop stalking me yousef" I smiled, taking my drink and heading to the door with yousef following behind.

"Shaku I'm not stalking you, it seems like you're the one stalking me" he said, taking a sip from his Starbucks cup. 

"You know I can pay for my own drink yousef" I remarked

"I know, it was a gesture" he said, rolling his eyes

We walked and arrived to auntie sheikha's for lunch. We ate and our parents sat down and had Turkish coffee, I sat down on one of the couches and took my book out and began to read.

After reading a few pages, yousef had to interrupt me, it's like he couldn't resist.

"Min9jech?" He laughed, grabbing my book from my hands.

I rolled my eyes like I usually do and put my earphones in my ears to block his annoying voice.

After a good 20 seconds he gave up on annoying me and sat next to me. He looked at me and took his lighter and pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and went to the garden outside. 

I couldn't help but follow him outside.

"See? You do stalk me" he laughed, putting the cigarette to his lips and lighting it. A puff if smoke came out, he inhaled and exhaled the smoke out. 

It amazed me how much I'd pay attention to his actions and how I always observed every move he made. 

I looked away and sighed 

"You know it kills you, why do you do it?" I asked, referring to him smoking. 

He looked at me and let out smoke from his mouth. 

He shrugged 

"We all die anyways" he said, putting out the cigarette he just smoked and taking a new one out the packet.

Without thinking I snatched the cigarette from his hand and put it in between my lips. 

"Intay shfeech yanaitay?" He shouted, anger flaring inside of his eyes.

"We all die anyways" I said, mimicking the stupid phrase he said to me moments ago.

"Now give me the lighter" I ordered, trying to keep a straight face. 

"Na3am?" He said, raising an eyebrow 

I couldn't help it, I let out a laugh and  looked at yousef 

"I'm just joking, I'd never smoke" i confessed, his features softened and he smiled, revealing his dimples. 

"Dalal btrou7een il bait" yelled yasmeen from the patio door

"Wait, before you go" said yousef, taking me by surprise. 

"nevermind" he finished off, waving goodbye 

I waved back and went to my parents, I got into the car and headed home. It's a weekend tomorrow and my Christmas holiday is just around the corner. 

I changed into my pajamas and finally got into bed, I checked whatsapp and saw lots of messages from Bader and a few from Bazza.

Chapter 6 (Part 1)

Chapter 6 (Part 1) 

The next morning i got up early to decide what to wear as were going to "yousefs" house.

i opened my mahogny cupboard and had a look through my clothes and chose to wear this:

 

With my tory burch bag and shoes! 

i got ready at about 12 when we had to go there at 1, So i spent a full hour talking to bader on whatsapp

Bader: Dalool

Me:Hala

Bader: Mta trdeen?

Me: Bader bdaina? you act like you cant live without me or something, what happened to rawan? 

*Rawan is his cousin that is madly in love with him

Bader: You know that i would never think of having feelings towards her... i mean shes my cousin and im not thinking of liking anyone.

Me: Thats what youve been saying for the last 3 years w akher shay bt9eer 3azaby

Bader: Allah kareem

Me: Yalla bdair i gotta go

Bader: Wain?

Me: Yousefs house 

Bader: Hatha ma athana?

Me: Is it me or are you acting weird today? 

Bader: I'll call you at 12 am okay? I need to talk to you about something 

Me: Okay stop acting all serious and shit tra mu layg, yalla bye 

Bader: Take care 

Chapter 5

Sorry we haven't posted in such a long time. Here's Chapter 5! Hope you enjoy reading & comments and feedback on twitter is always appreciated! Dm us what you think :D! -Fatemah & Lulu the loser.
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Chapter 5


I woke up from my small nap and checked the time on my phone, 3:52 pm. I fixed my hair and sat up. I didn't really know how to react to everything that was happening. All this moving around was new to me and meeting yousef was playing games on my mind and i don't even know whats wrong with Bader. But i don't really know yousef, it didn't really occur to me that i'd miss him or anything because i barely know him.

We got out the train and went to our new house, it wasn't huge but it was big enough for me and my parents. I start university tomorrow, i knew bedford quite well because I've been here before. 

I took my bags and went up to my room, i laid down on my bed and closed my eyes and let out a big sigh. I opened my eyes and stood up, i grabbed my purse and went downstairs. 

"Wain ray7a?" Asked my mum

"i need a few stuff for uni, i start tomorrow remember?" I said, opening the fridge and looking around.

"bye!" I said as i went out the house and started making my way to the bus stop. 

I arrived at the bus stop and bought my ticket, 10 minutes later i arrived to the stationery shop just outside of a coffee shop. I went in, grabbed a basket and walked around. My phone started vibrating against my thigh. I took it out of my pocket and saw the caller ID.

No surprise there, my mum is calling. 

"Aloo?" I answered, throwing a few stuff in my basket. 

"Dalal abeech troo7een il jam3iya" answered my mum, typical. 

"Okay then what?" I asked, going to the cashier to pay.

"Buy some fruits and tea bags" she ordered

"Okay..." I said, confused at her requests

"Bser3a Sheikha ra7 ityee ma3a 3yalha" she explained, hanging up.

I grabbed my bags from the cashier counter and headed to the nearest market, i went in and got the stuff. I paid and took a taxi home.

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I opened the door and took my shoes off near the doorsteps, i put the bags in the kitchen and saw my mom.

"Dalal make the hot water" she ordered, taking the fruit out of the bag and placing it inside the fruit bowl

"mama whats going on?" I asked

"Sheikha ra7 tyee ma3a 3yalha" she replied, taking glasses and filling them up with orange juice

"Ay sheikha?" I asked

"dalal basich tiseleen bas 5ala9" shouted my mum

"Yuma min9igich?" I asked

"Ee shfeech? Yalla 3adlay il 9ala bser3a" she ordered

"First you make me move countries and move away from my friends and now you shout at me? bas 5ala9 ana ta3abt Im tired of this andl theres only so much i can take!" I said, storming towards the door and not looking at where i was going

 I hit something hard and saw yousef. Great, just great. 

I ignored him and went outside and headed to the garden 5 minutes away from our house

I arrived and sat on a bench and went on whatsapp to complain to Bader, something i tend to do.

Me: Bader this is so annoyinggggggggg i wish i was in kuwait 

A minute later he replied 

Bader: I have an essay due tomorrow im screwed big time 

Me: This yousef guy is here kilish  mali 5ilg, my mum's gonna  make me socialise as usual

"Are you okay?" 

I turned around and saw yousef, cliché.

"Yeah im fine" i answered

"Shfeech ga3da broo7ich?" He asked 

"Ma feeney shay" i answered, going on whatsapp to distract myself from starting a conversation with him

"You're pretty moody today aren't you?" He said. My eyes widened in disbelief.

"Yeah you're moody" he continued, impressed with the reaction he got from me.

I was about to reply but my phone started ringing

"Aloo" i said, picking up the phone and eyeing yousef

"Dalaaaaaaaaaal" shouted bader with a laugh at the end

Yousef looked at me with an amused face

"Hey Bader whats up?" I said trying to keep my cool

"Shfeech? Fee a7ad yamech?" He asked, clearly noticing the nervousness in my voice

"Ha? La ma fee a7ad" i lied

"I thought you said yousef was there" said Bader, a bit too loud.

Yousef looked at me and smirked, this is getting way out of hand. Bader's voice is too loud on the phone making yousef hear everything

"Bader i gotta go" i said as i hung up

I tried to avoid yousef's eyes but he wasn't helping

"Dalal ma twa8a3t you would have a boyfriend" he laughed, looking at me

"He's not my boyfriend what is wrong with you?" I replied angrily

"Inzain shfeech 3a9abtay?" He laughed

He was pushing my buttons just to annoy me. This is getting annoying now. 

"Why are you here anyways?" I asked, not answering his question 

"It's a free world Dalal" he smiled, getting on my last nerve.

"Your mum told me to call you for lunch actually" he finshed off

"Whatever" i said, going to cross the road so i could go back home. As i was walking i froze and looked at the dog in front of me. I ran back screaming with the dog following me. I ran and ran till i saw yousef, i ran towards him and hid behind him grabbing his shirt. I had a fear of dogs, they scared me so much.

"Shfeech ba3ad?" He said, not noticing the dog approaching. The dog was now visible, barking at me.

"YOUSEF WA5ER IL CHALB BSER3A" i shouted, burying my face in his shirt. 

"Min9ijech 5ayfa min chalb?" Said yousef, stroking the dog and leaning down.

"Yousef la2 stand up lets go" i argued, scared he'll leave me with this stupid dog. 

Yousef stood up and looked at me, seconds later he laughed. We walked towards the house with him making fun of me the whole way back.

"You owe me a new shirt" he said as we went inside

"Shfeekum 6awaltaw?" Questioned yousef's mum

"Hathee sawat saalfa 3ala chalb" smiled yousef, pointing at me. 

"Yalla yousef la nita'5ar" said 5alti sheikha 

"Yalla nshoofkum bacher" said my mum

"Bacher?" I said

"Ee ra7 tyoon baitna bacher" announced yasmeen, her smile showing her dimples which were just like her brother's.

"Bye" i waved

"Bye you loser" replied yousef texting away on his phone. 

They left and i let out a big sigh i didn't know i was keeping inside. I went up to my room and got out my outfit for my first day of uni. 

It took me shorter than i expected to pick out an outfit, i hung it and changed into my pj's and went to sleep. Thats how i spent my first day in bedford. 

Authors Note

Authors note: 

Now that we've posted the a few chapters we thought it would be the right time to tell you guys when we'll post.

We aim to post 2 chapters a week, it depends on how busy we are and it's summer so everyone deserves time for themselves! Now you may also be thinking... How can two people write a blog at the same time? Well we incorporate our ideas ad merge them together to form a chapter! You know what they say... Two minds are better than one.

But Myself (Fatemah) and Lulu won't be in kuwait so we might not be able to post as much as we would aim to, we'll try to post though. 

Thanks! -Lulu & Fatemah :D!

Chapter 4

Chapter four 

(A short one!)

I waited till we all went back to the hotel, the good thing was that I actually got to have my own room. As soon as I got there I unlocked my phone and whatsapp Bader to tell him that I wanted to Skype him and as soon as I told him he called. 

"Helllllooooooooo" i said 

"Hala, el7imdallah 3la elsalamah" he replied

"Allah ysalmk broodar" i said, i was hyper for no reason

"brodar?" questioned Bader

"brother, shfeek?" i asked 

"Wla shay" he replied in a flat tone

"since when do you hide stuff from me? Yalla gool" i ushered

"Tawny astaw3b ench r7tay, wallah ya3ny dalool mnu b7n 3lay mn el9b7? Who's gonna complain to me every now and them? Madry I feel like we're not gonna be as close anymore." he confessed

 "enta Laish Wayd tfawl?? I promise I call you everyday before I sleep, it's only 3 hours difference between me and you" i replied

"Madry dalal" he startes

"yalla 3ad, glna I'll call you. W a9lan I'm coming in christmas." i said, trying to comfort him

"w it's June now, ya3ny 6 months btna6reeny?" he whined

" tra klha London you call always come. Eeh ma gltlk 3an Yousef" i stated

"mnu hatha ba3ad?" he questioned 

With that I told Bader about the whole day but after I told him he seemed a bit sad, like I don't know but he wasnt the normal Bader. At around 3 am I closed the phone, prayed and driftted off to sleep. 

I woke up early the next morning, wore my pink juicy tracksuit, put my long black hair in a ponytail. Plugged my headphones in and went out for a run. 

After i finished running i sat down on a nearby bench, attempting to catch my breath. I checked the time, it was 10 am. I got up and headed back to our hotel. I saw my parents and lots of suitcases surrounding them.

"Sh9ayr ba3ad?" I sighed, eyeing my dad.

"We're moving in to our house" he replied, folding his shirt and placing it in the suitcase.

With that being said, i went to the elevator to go to my hotel room and pack my stuff. 

My dads work was in Bedford so that was another journey, we got ready, packed and headed to the train station as soon as we got in the train I plugged my earphones in and driftted of to sleep.